Destroy Me

You have always hurt me,
Prevented me from doing what I want,
Been the worst thorn in the bush,
Looked me in the eye and crushed all my thoughts,

Hatred if used would be an understatement,
If it was used to express your feelings for me,
I've always tried to dodge you and steer clear,
But you've set up numerous traps to catch me,

Wounded not only my heart,
But also my mind and soul,
Yet I tried to look for a light,
A light reflecting the good in your soul,

I have searched for it for so long,
And now I'm forced to give up,
Cuz now I'm confirmed that,
You're made of nothing but pore evil,

Its a shame that I couldn't change you,
No matter how hard I tried,
Whenever I tried to find good,
You realised my intentions and showed me your darker side,

And now I'm completely hopeless,
Thrashed, lost and strungout,
Begging you to end it all,
Everything that I thought was possible and destroy me.

The Road Called Life

I am abandoned on this road,
This road called life,
The road which is used by all who are living,
The road where everyone advances with each stride,

This lonely road was shown to me,
By the person who gave birth to me,
Stood there by my side,
And now has deserted me,

The road is never-ending,
But I know it has to end,
One way or another,
It finally leads to my death,

The road ain't smooth at all,
Its got loads of bumps,
Filled with many obstacles,
And hurdles for me to cross,

I've been walking on this road,
For the past so many years,
And shall walk on it in the future,
Till it kicks me in my guts,

You think I'm frustrated,
And battered and bruised and lost,
But I know how to stand up,
And face every single punch.

The Last Letter of Love

I know you write from a distant land,
I know you left to set your fate,
Yes, I still have faith in you -
But your letter arrived a little too late,

I know you still think love is there,
And you still grope for the right key,
I know you sent all your love this way,
But those feelings never found me,

I know we had dreamt a future together,
I know you still want them to be true,
But even though you still hold on to me,
I had long let go of you,

Perhaps on reading this you will hate me,
That would be fair, I know,
But all the plants do not fully blossom,
From all the seeds we sow,

Yes we still have a past together,
That they cannot take away,
And those memories I sent for you -
To guide my last letter's way.

She (something i wrote a very long time ago, when i was in love with an imaginary maiden....might be a little silly)

She is someone I love,
She is someone I care for,
She is someone I trust,
She is someone I'd give my life for,
She is beautiful, she is kind,
She is caring, she is nice,
She is everything to me,
She is a figment of my fantasy,
She gets angry when I make mistakes,
She lives within me, although my life is in flames,
She speaks to me every night,
She is always there by my side,
She knows how much I love her,
She loves me too but keeps me longing for her,
She smiles like a beautiful flower,
She stands beside me even in my darkest hour,
She makes me smile, she makes me cry,
She makes me wanna live my life,
She knows my strengths and my weaknesses,
She caresses me and leaves me lifeless,
She comes to me everytime I close my eyes,
She is the one I picture dancing in the moonlight,
She is perfect, she is the one,
She in my life is like the morning sun,
She kisses me, she caresses me,
She cries for me, she is my life for me,
She is someone any painter would love to portray,
She looks at me with those beautiful eyes and takes my breath away,
She is heavenly, she is the love of my life,
She is sharper than the sharpest knife,
She is gentle, just like the flowing stream,
She will stay for eternity, always in my dream,
She is God's greatest creation just like Mozart's musical piece,
She is the beauty......while I am the beast.

[written after falling head over heels in love with a girl i had seen from a distance six years ago]

The Silence Of The Sound

The lonely clarinet player sits alone,
In one corner of the stage,
As the others feel free in music,
He holds on to his cage,

As the others create harmony,
The daft fingers on notes high,
He remains seated alone,
His instrument lying by,

The violin plays a note high,
The piano follows suit,
But he remains unmoved as always -
As lonely as the flute.

Nobody heard the sound of silence,
No one heard his song,
His music remained unheard of,
As music was felt wrong.

Understanding Love

You say you know the pain of losing,
But I know that you don't,
You have never loved before,
So you never felt the loss and you ever wont,

You say you wake up in the middle of the night,
Shivering, scared and groping for someone,
You say nightmares bother you too,
But I know - you have seen none,

You never felt mercy or pity,
You did what you were told to do,
I was the one who was stupid and trusting,
And felt a tumult just for you,

But still I pity you, here today,
Standing there - bitter, lost and rueful,
For you have never known love in life,
And never seen the ones truly beautiful,

Yes I still hope you would love someday,
And pray that God does forgive you,
You don't know what you kept distant from,
Distance has obliterated what is true,

When you learn to love, we will meet again,
And flowers will bloom all through,
You will know what matters in life,
And you will find the real you.

Something I Wrote For My Dad....

You have always been there for me,
Stood beside me even in times of misery,
You have always guided me,
In paths which are right and have led me to victory,
You have always right my wrongs,
And have sung with me the sweetest songs,
You have scolded, beaten and threatened me,
But still I respect you cuz you are very dear to me,
You bore all the pains I gave you,
You know I ought to be punished, yet you don't wish so,
We've been together for almost two decades,
But I can still picture all our happy days,
All the good times we had, all the moments we shared,
All the jokes we cracked, all the lessons we prepared,
Dad you're the best, you're the one,
In my life you're life the shining sun,
I ain't flattering you, I ain't writing lies,
Cuz, trust me, when you're hurt, my heart actually cries,
Well, this is what I can come up with, I can't think no more,
My mind's stressed and my brains tensed, cuz time's running out the door.

Something I Wrote For My Mum...

You are the one who gave birth to me,
You are the one who is dearest to me,
You are the one who showed me whats right and whats wrong,
You are the one, mum, who has been with me all along,

We bore all the pains they gave us,
We have shown them that victors are not them, but us,
We have said harsh words to one another,
But the bond we share is the greatest among others,

From the day I opened my eyes,
I knew I could reach the sky,
Cuz there was always someone beside me,
Who's been working her guts out for me,

You've been there for me,
You've known whats right for me,
But no matter how naughty I've been,
You've always forgiven me,

Don't leave me ever, I shall die without you,
In your absence, I keep longing for you,
No matter what I've done without telling you,
Mum, you know it, I have and shall always love you.

Lonely Is The Night

The only light that guided me through,
Were the ones in the sky,
The only faith that I had of living,
Was someday - everyone will die,

I still dream of life sometimes,
I still hope that it rains,
Though love still burns deep within,
But at times, it still does pain,

They say, the only way to avoid pain,
Is to avoid the dreams,
But these dreams are my only friends,
And not just mere crazy whim,

I feel things would be right someday,
It would be nice and fine,
And at night the woods would burn again,
And my guardian stars will shine.

The Road Called Life

Life never follows the rules you set for it,
It chooses the darker road over the ones well lit,
It takes a bruised man by its side over a bracing knight,
Peace is a momentary thought for it when there is no war at sight,

Life takes the road over the mountains high,
Beyond which the restless oceans lie,
It smiles at the straight curve you wanted it to be,
But never cares for it as much as to wait and see,

It leads you on through the highs and lows,
But you never find out which way it goes,
You run along to keep its pace,
But the ruthless time never cares for your tired face,

And then life leaves you - far, far behind,
Time lets you go, for once being kind,
And you wait for the end of the road,
Your life flying, free from your load.

Recover Your Soul

Recover your soul tonight,
We have a long way to go,
Look for the light in the road,
For the dark is on the tow,

Wait not for love as you go by,
For love has long deserted,
Us, and left us to become -
The ones whom love averted,

We have been good and seen,
Love has had no cost,
And if there was something quite like love,
Then its labour is lost,

This wound hurts deep within,
As though stabbed with a knife,
We walk alone in this road,
We live alone this life.

Born In Bedlum

I was born in Bedlum one stormy night,
Raised by the insane swept of wind,
I was destined to be a hero,
But en route to life I met up with death,

I looked high and low for destiny alone,
I loved the look in God's eyes,
I loved to speak to the twinkling stars,
But they took love and bartered it for pain,

I now live a lonely life,
Waiting for death to knock at my door,
And whoever I see, I say to them,
I was destined to be a hero,

They laugh at me, call me crazy,
Of course I say - I was born in Bedlum.

Confessions of a Maverick Failure

I have been waiting for a miracle for so long,
I tried to end a war with just a song,
That I never learned to look back and see,
Wat life already had in store for me,

I failed to see the smile in God's face,
I failed to see I have run my race,
On my quest to find what the world meant,
I had let my own memories of life become faint,

I wanted to be the one who was the best,
In the game, I let of all the rest,
So now I lie heartbroken and bitterly alone,
As I think of the star that had once shone,

I had tried so hard to be different,
That I failed to see what life really meant,
Now I sail in vain from door to door,
And no smile of God meets me anymore.

From The Battlefield

There lies the corpse of a friend I had,
There lies what we had seen,
There lies the sword that killed my friend,
And one they said that we would win,

There lies the bloodied sword of my brother,
Our fathers shield lay not far,
My mothers faith tied in a scarf to the shield,
They had even planted on it a reddened sear,

And here I lie - alive and breathing,
My eyes wet by the sight,
But they say I should not cry,
Warriors do not love - they only fight,

I had seen the most gruesome of sights,
And there was no light 'fore the dark to end,
The bruised and the dead cry out in pain,
The war we had won, with so much to mend,

Someday I shall forget this,
Someday they shall break the lock,
Till then I shall wait and weep,
Till then I shall live in shock.

A Dreamer's Ordeal

There were once two dreaming eyes,
Who never knew what is true,
For whenever they gazed up to the sky,
Its said, "I will be there for you",

Whenever they smiled at a blooming bud,
It smiled back at them,
The moon liked them as her companion,
And often asked their name,

Then time came as poison,
And the eyes grew old,
And they never saw dreams again,
Neither beautiful nor bold,

Then the sun left her alone,
Also left the bloomed flower,
And not even the moon came,
To say goodbye at her last hour,

For the dreams had left her,
And she had become old,
The warmth of youth had been replaced,
By what is barren and cold.

No One Is Far Off

A little light to guide them by,
A little smile to pass them by,
Life still feels good and great,
Among the tears and a mournful sigh,

A little dream to pull them through,
A sweet lie far from true,
But still life feels worth a try,
As the earth is green and the sky is blue,

A light blooms for them,
Showers petals, standing high,
And though the night seems long right now,
A gleaming day is close by,

A little child to stare wide eyed,
As it sees them shout and fight,
No matter how they bled their tears,
The child is there to hug them light,

A morning wakes up fresh for them,
As God smiles just for thy,
And so life seems good and great,
Among the tears and a mournful sigh.

Note to a lost friend...

So many things,
I didn't say,
Is it too late now that you've gone away?
So many words,
So many ways,
If you can hear me now, there's something I gotta say.

Just one more talk,
Just one more turn,
If one's too much then..
I just want to say,
Thank you,
For everything,
You ever done for me,
I just want to say,
Thank you,
For all the things,
For saving me,

So many times,
So many days,
You helped me through,
Walked me through the rain,
So many tears,
Have washed away,
If you can hear my voice,
There's something I have to say…

It's been so long,
They say time will heal everything,
Could you send me a sign?
To fill the soul in my life,
Turn on a light,
To help me see through it all,
No one left to rescue me,
Save me...

Thank you for all the times we had,
All the jokes we cracked, all the moments we shared,
Thank you for giving me a shoulder to lean on,
For winning all the battles in my life,
For showing me the path which leads out of the darkness and into the light,
Although you're leaving me,
You'll always be on my mind and in my heart,
Whether we meet in the near future or till death do us apart...

Something I wrote for someone special in my life.....but I guess she didn't like it....

She comes to me every time I close my eyes,
I can see her dancing in the moonlight,
The dress that she wears is sparkling in the light,
The love radiates through her smile.
I hear her whispering my name,
Calling out to me as if she is in need of me,
I see her moving towards me,
And i can't feel my heart beat,
She comes closer and takes my hand,
I look into her eyes and try to understand,
What she wants to say to me,
But I can't hear while she's speaking to me,
Cause her touch is so charming,
That I can feel my life drifting away from me,
Just like the clouds clearing after a stormy evening,
Just like the angels descending down to enlighten me,
And when I hold her close to me,
I can see her staring back at me,
Her tender skin as soft as a feather,
The night so harsh that it makes demons surrender,

I don't know who she is,
But in my life she does exist,
Her passion is just a kiss,
And I cannot resist it,
Ich varte hir, don't die before I do,
Ich varte hir, Shtirb nicht vor mir.....

Angel

Live in virtue, no desire
In the grave an angel's choir
You look to heaven and wonder why
No one can see them in the sky

Just as the clouds have gone to sleep
Angels can be seen in heaven's keep
Alone in fear they question why
Goddamn not an angel when I die

Angels live, they never die
Apart from us, behind the sky
They're fading souls who've turned to ice
So ashen white in paradise

Just as the clouds have gone to sleep
Angels can be seen in heaven's keep
Alone in fear they question why
Goddamn not an angel when I die

Goddamn an angel when I die
Heaven must be hell in the sky

Trapped Insise

Somethings can't be expressed,
Somethings are better unsaid,
Somethings just need to be suppressed,
Somethings are better of dead,

Some animals left untouched,
Some feelings left unexpressed,
Some pains left unreleased,
Some beasts left unleashed,

But these feelings stay stuck inside,
And at times come outside,
When anger and pain coincide,
Cuz they've been Trapped Inside...

Some cry for lost ones,
Some cry for love,
Some cry cuz they're hurt,
But when this pain comes out,
And shows its demonic face,
The people who gave pain are the ones who get pain,

But sometimes when the pain is released,
The force of life dies out,
And thats when the wait starts again,
The wait which has no limit,
But continues as long as,
The pain and anger get Trapped Inside...

Being A Burden (Song)

Not everyone's a burden out here,
Not everyone's a pain in the butt,
But some of us out here,
Just a hand-full are the one's who get hurt,
Cuz, we're nothing more than a BURDEN!

___________________
Ch:
A burden on our friends,
A burden on our parents,
A burden on our lovers,
A burden on ourselves,
___________________


But we can't give up,
Being what we are, cuz we're unique,
The worst to some while the best to others,
Yet we try to hold on with what we have,
And yet we continue to be a BURDEN!

___________________
Ch:
___________________

The world has never appreciated us,
Never looked back when we're down,
Never when we're suffering,
Cuz once, all that we were, is a BURDEN!

___________________
Ch:
___________________

The Life I Want

The life I want is not one taken out from the movies,
Not one that people dream of,
But a life of simplicity...

A life not comprising of complete happiness,
Not one comprising of only sorrow,
But one in which there shall be a balance,
But not the balance of mankind...

A life in the darkness would be nice,
As enemies won't find me,
But when I would want to rise,
I would not find the guiding light...

A life in the skies would be nice,
High above all of mankind,
A place where some people want to reside,
But when I want to be down to earth,
I will not be able to do so,
Cuz I'll be too high up in the sky...

A life in her arms would be nice,
Holding onto the best of times with no one around,
But when time runs out on one of us,
All I'll be left with is hatred all around...

No one shall be able to satisfy my needs,
Cuz I ask for "too much",
A price which no one can afford,
But unless I don't get it,
I shall not rest in peace......

A note to all the readers.....

Whatever shall be posted on this blog will be in poetic verses and may or may not relate to your life.....please do not take any offense if the posts are a little twisted, full of hatred and pessimistic...

I thank all of you for reading the blog, enjoying what you read and then inviting others to read it too. Feel free to comment on each and every article. In that way i might try and improve on my writing and also try my best to bring out the images in your heads into verses.

I used to write a blog earlier but due to some personal problems I was forced to quit. My sincere apologies to those who used to follow up with the daily blog. Now I'm back, once again, to write to you people, pieces of my life so that you can enjoy, and I owe my return to someone really special in my life.

I guess Freddie Mercury was right...."The Show Must Go On...."

~ Debarun Sanyal.